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the sardonic elite

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Very elite [12 Dec 2004|03:54pm]

[ mood | amused ]

I noticed this site, noticed that it never gets posts anymore. Pretty damn hilarious when you consider the posts prior to this one. I like the fact that you are all too elite even for yourselves. It's not like this is the Fortune 500 or the latest red carpet shindig. I doubt any of you are actually as elite as you pretend to be. So, get over yourselves. Have fun with this journal. Prove that you are indeed the 'sardonic elite'.

 what do you have to say to that?

[10 Dec 2003|11:51pm]

I feel it is my duty as a member of the Sardonic Elite to point out that, as an elite group, someone ought to be able to correctly spell sardonicism in the interests section of the userinfo page.

Just a thought.
4 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

life is a fatal, sexually-transmitted disease [10 May 2003|09:22pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

it seems rather lacking in elite qualities that no pre-requisite or even mutual acknowledgement was required for my membership to this community.

like a publically-accessible concierge lounge, this is a sure sign of the degrading values of the elite.

6 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

breaking wind [03 May 2003|10:20pm]

[ mood | righteous ]

I love this community. it's my favorite community. it's so elite, people don't post to it. I'm proud to be a member of an elite cadre too elite for itself. it might qualify as meta-elitism.

I Will contribute. here it is then: the douche-bag glossary.

2 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

Garn! [11 Dec 2002|10:13pm]

[ mood | amused ]

A synonym for the words "gewgaw" and "knickknack" is the borrowed French word "bibelot," which in translation means trinket.

OK, I know that the English language borrows from other languages, but this is going too far. What's wrong with just plain "thing"?! Let us not take on airs and affectations. We've stepped over the line, and the ominous threat exists-- perhaps society will become more cultured because of it.

Eh, I doubt it. That might've been plausible in the Victorian Age when everybody wished they were European, but now?
7 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

And so she is introduced. [11 Dec 2002|09:55pm]

I once was ignorant of the State. Then I had faith in the State. Last I read three books on Anarchism and that faith was completely undermined.

What should this say about me? Am I a revolutionary in the making or am I just that easily swayed, thereby attesting to the fact that my scholastic endeavors are tinctured with subtle nationalistic propaganda?

Chutney should be more appealing than this. But for some reason, it's not.
 what do you have to say to that?

[14 Oct 2002|05:49pm]

[ mood | bitchy ]

desperation is so very, very unattractive.

if i notice you, i notice you. don't impose yourself on me and try to MAKE me notice you.

people who have no pride in themselves make me sick.

4 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

[28 Jul 2002|02:26pm]

 what do you have to say to that?

introduction [25 Jul 2002|11:30am]

[ mood | uncomfortable ]

i'm patchworkshad, just saying hullo as that's custom i suppose.

i wanna live in AZ one day on a ranch called El Rancho de Cajones ("ranch of the balls")with a sign on the gate that reads: "Ring Door. Don't Feed the Llamas." For now I pretend and parade around the house nekkid in my leopard print cowboy hat. And when people ask WTF? I just reply, "well, ma'am we don't do that sorta thing in this here town."

i love Nj for all things abandoned, especially the forgotten amusement parks called insane asylums and those lovely resorts for by-gone ideas in the industrial parks and factories. no where else per capita are there such h.e.a.v.e.n.ly. places to lounge about.

always up for adventures and what-have-you's, if you have any.

 what do you have to say to that?

introduction [16 Jul 2002|03:35pm]

[ mood | calm ]

good morning, it's nice to meet you all.

8:03am at work:

i stumble in and start making breakfast, coffee & neurontin.

Annoying woman walks in cheery & happy. She's wanting to make chit-chat because this is what she does to make her life all the more better. ah! to brag about weekend exploits over the coffee pot secretly hoping for some degree of an amusing work relationship we can share. oh joy and lucky me.

so! how was your weekend? Did you see Friends? and what about this weather, huh?! oh, watcha do to your hand? that's a nasty scratch!

... you should see my back.

exit stage left.

 what do you have to say to that?

A little thing that happened at work... [31 May 2002|01:02pm]

In a discussion of cigarettes with the guy who stocks them, I said "Capris are too effeminate for me." The cashier next to me turns around and says "That's ironic, because there is no manly way to drink a Capri Sun." I thought it was really funny at the time.
 what do you have to say to that?

FUCK EXAMS. [26 Apr 2002|08:17pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

Exams are a pointless and anachronistic method of evaluating students.

My word of the day is: FUTILE!

2 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

Cruisin' in memory of... [24 Apr 2002|03:48pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

These things have been breeding for the past year. Taking up 70% of a vehicle's rear window, they honor either a deceased relative or deceased Dale Earnhardt.

So what, people are driving their cars especially for deceased persons? Like, they wouldn't normally drive?

"Hey. Let's go out and buy a 1987 Lincoln Continental. In memory of Dale. And we'll single-handedly save the economy while we're at it."

Do they decide they have an itch to honor grandpa so they grab the keys to the El Camino and go to Wal-Mart to grab some khakis made by children in a third-world country?

When they cut you off in traffic, is it to honor dear old dad who was an asshole on the road? "Dad would have liked the way I made that 18-wheeler almost jacknife. That one's for you, dad."

Do they go through McDonald's drive-thru to load up on the fats because dear Aunt Jane had high cholesterol and loved to stuff her face? "Poor dear, it was those Big Macs that did her in. She would have loved that double cheeseburgers were 99 cents now."

Babblin' in memory of no one in particular.

 what do you have to say to that?

Hello. [24 Apr 2002|09:11am]

[ mood | cynical ]

Elderly drivers eat the souls of pedestrians. Little by little, of course. That's why you always get chills when an old person drives by in a car.

In the minds of high-scool skater-pUnks, what's so rebellious about capitalizing the letter 'U'?

Trying to think of annoyingly clever uber-acoronyms for words like you are (ur), straight (str8), and how old are you? what sex are you? where are you from? (a/s/l), takes longer than actually typing out the sentence in full. Plus, it's impossible to distinguish between ur meaning you are or the possessive. Hasn't some nerd developed a system for this yet?

Cigarettes are deadly on the one hand, but on the other hand they are delicious and they make you look cool.


8 sharp-tounged retorts | what do you have to say to that?

[22 Apr 2002|03:00pm]

are michelle branch and vanessa carlton the same person? what's the difference?

ah... one has a guitar and the other a piano.
1 sharp-tounged retort | what do you have to say to that?

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